I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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