Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
