new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
God, I missed his penis.
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