i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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