shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
