Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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