I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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