Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
