What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
