States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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