so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
