Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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