My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize