I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
