you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
