In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
