you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
