Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize