I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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