I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
