why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize