I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
