Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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