she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
