Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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