I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
