I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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