I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I love having hate sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
