Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
