so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
