It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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