Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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