I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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