Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I deserve this hangover.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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