Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
