How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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