I didn't shave. On purpose
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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