He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
