that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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