i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When are your genitals available?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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