I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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