Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
