Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Randomize
