I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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