whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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