Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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