Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
