Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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