I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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