So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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