He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
