i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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