dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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