Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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