where am i from again
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
