Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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