oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
