You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
