i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
