Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
